Do you know what really irks me? When someone sarcastically says to a groom,
“It’s not too late to run.”
“The old ball and chain.”
“Don’t do it.”
“You’re making the biggest mistake of your life.”
My question is, why? Why at a time when someone is truly supposed to be in pure bliss would you try to negate their marriage? I don’t get it. I can only guess that people say these inappropriate things with the assumptions that women wear the pants in a relationship or that a man is whipped. Why do they jump to these conclusions? Maybe… it’s because being a devoted wife isn’t all that culturally popular nowadays.
I feel like there’s this stigma around being a devoted wife. Women are constantly being told to be self-reliant and wait for the man they deserve, one that will dote on them and wait on them hand and foot. It’s not that I don’t agree with that in a way because I absolutely believe men should be chivalrous gentlemen and that women should 100% be able to think and act freely for themselves. But what about a man waiting for the woman he deserves? Why isn’t that harked upon over and over again? Is it because in our overly feminist-driven society men aren’t considered to be as good as women? Is it because the only thing that matters is a woman’s happiness? I can’t say for sure, but what I can say that in a real marriage, both parties should want to dote on each other. They should want to be there for the other without having to have that feeling of superiority because in marriage, neither is superior to the other. There will be moments when one is stronger than the other and moments where one is weaker than the other, and that’s okay. There is no shame in being a devoted wife.
For those of us who are Christians, the Bible clearly states
“Wives, respect and obey your husbands.” 1 Peter 3.
“Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Colossians 3:18.
The words obey and submit might be hard to hear, but I’ve come to realize they aren’t meant to be condescending. They are instructions for us women to let down some of our walls, swallow our pride and sincerely be there for our husbands. Even if you are not a Christian, anyone will tell you that marriage is a give and take. There are absolutely times when a wife needs to respect and yield to her husband and vice versa.
I’m not saying we need to dive back into the 50s, but I am saying that I think it’s okay to be a devoted wife. It’s okay to be there physically and emotionally for your husband. It’s okay to be respectful and supportive of your husband. More than okay. It’s admirable. You are not weak or delicate. You are not less. If a marriage is truly good, the husband will be there to support and respect you too. He will lift you up emotionally and physically too. He will protect and honor you. I don’t agree with the hecklers that joke about marriage ruining someone’s life. Marriage isn’t a life-ending event. On the contrary, it’s a wonderful new beginning. It’s the ultimate partnership for this thing we call life. A real marriage is like heaven on Earth because you are fiercely devoted to one another which in itself is a beautiful thing.
I proudly declare that I am truly honored to be my husband’s life partner and his devoted wife because being committed and supportive to him is one of my most treasured purposes in life, and I am not and will never be ashamed of it.
P.S. You might be wondering why I’m blabbing on about marriage on a homestead blog? Well on our homestead, our marriage is the foundation for everything. Without it, none of the other aspects of our homestead would exist, so I find it only fitting that the topic is featured every now and then.